Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
