Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
