So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
