It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
