i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
