Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
