I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
