she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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