smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
