It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
