I want to make a zoo with you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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