Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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