we have pet lesbian snakes
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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