Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
