I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Boobs speak an international language.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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