Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
