People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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