I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She bit a glass in half.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
