This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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