and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
