Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
wow bdsm is so cute
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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