marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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