I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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