WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Pooping to opera.
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