I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
