I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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