My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
