i barfeds in our rink
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
