no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
