Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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