I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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