GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
