So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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