What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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