shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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