Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
