I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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