Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
