Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
