im drinking this country out of the recession.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
