M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
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