I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
