don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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