How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
