no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize