Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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