I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
