Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
