I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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