Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
