Pants 0. Shit 1.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
