sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize