Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
