you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize