Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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