guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize