It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
