Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
