how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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