I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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