I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
