I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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