Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize