I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
