I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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