Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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