you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
