i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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