even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
